*I am briefly breaking away from homeschooling topics to talk about something that has been heavy on my heart lately. I pray that it will speak to those who need it the most!*
During the past several months, and even several years, I have come to a conclusion about myself…I cannot be on a diet to lose weight. Why? Because I have a heart issue. And when my heart gets too focused on what I can or cannot eat, it loses focus on the One who gave us food to enjoy in the first place.
About 12 years ago I began a weight loss journey that was a long time overdue. My time as a college student was spent depressed and overweight. I cried out to God for help…and He answered! His answer to me was that I had a problem with loving food too much, and not loving Him enough. I knew I needed to straighten this out, or my life would never be where it needed to be. I was led to a program called the Weigh Down Workshop and I was finally able to lose about 70 pounds…all without dieting.
I began to let go of the stronghold food had on my heart. I was able to see how perfectly God had made our bodies, and how He could lead us back to our natural sensations of true hunger and satisfied fullness. It was so freeing! My food addiction was stopped at a screeching halt!
Fast forward 10 years. Four pregnancies later, I found myself back where I began. I lost touch with hunger and fullness and spent days mindlessly grazing in between chasing children (which was the only reason I didn’t gain all of the weight back). Finding out I was gluten intolerant led me once again down the road of trying to make food behave. Yet again I found out…this does not work for me.
I have spent the last couple of years trying out several diets, and they usually work in the beginning. But then something changes. I become too focused on the food and it starts to take over again. I spend way too much time worrying about what I can eat and when I can eat. I become possessive about my food. After all, when I have to make special snacks for a certain diet I would like to have at least one bite of it!
Then I see this changing the way my kids view food. Do I want them to think food is something you go to when you are upset? Do I want them to think you have to finish every morsel on your plate? Do I want them to ignore hunger and fullness? Do I want them to see me selfishly upset when they want some of my snack? Do I want them to see me treat food as an idol?
Changes need to be made again. It is time to remember who the true “Bread of Life” is! It is time to regain victory over eating when I am not hungry and stuffing myself until I am too full! My heart needs to go back to where it belongs…back to the One who loved me enough to die on the cross for me. The least I can do is make Him my number one focus in life and not food!
Please don’t see this as a judgment on anyone or anything. I know that diets work very well for some people. I know there may be other underlying reasons why people don’t lose weight. But I also know that I see a lot of hearts in the wrong places. So will you join me as I once again begin this journey back into the arms of my loving Savior? Will you join me as I regain the happiness and joy that only a close relationship with Him can bring?
I will be praying for you…please pray for me too:)